Join my cost-effective coaching program, Clarity+Courage where we learn, apply, and grow. This month's concept: Discernment & Decisions. 

Do Justice, Love Mercy & Walk Humbly

Above is a video conversation with Julie Davenport, author of Secrets in the Sanctuary.  Her book tells her journey of living in a relationship full of infidelity, betrayal, and abuse. 

Even as she eventually felt released from the relationship, she is the perfect example of unconditional love. Her heart reminds me of that of David.

I will sum up our approach to sin with the Scripture from Mich 6:8: What does the Lord require from you, except to carry out justice and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God?

Here are some other verses and my conclusion of how the Bible tells us to approach sin:

1. Handle your sin FIRST

Matthew 7:1-5 Do not judge, or you too will be judged.  For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look to the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?  How can you say to your brother, "Let me take the speck out of your eye," when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own ey,e, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.

2.Expose the Sin

Matthew 18:15-17:  If your brother sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you.  If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along so that "every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses. If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector."

3. Be gentle and self-aware.

Galatians 6:1:  Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.

Proverbs 29:11: A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back.

Proverbs 15:1:  A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

4. Be humble

Philippians 2:3-4:  Do nothing from rivalry or conceit but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests but also to the interests of others.

5. Be Forgiving

Matthew 6:14-15: For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Other verses:

  • Matthew 5:44 Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.
  • James 2:12-13 Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the laws that give freedom because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment
  • Romans 12:17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody.
  • Romans 12:18 Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath.
  • Romans 12:21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. 
  • Luke 6
    • Bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. 
    • Do unto others as you would have them do to you.
    • God is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.
    • Do not judge, and you will not be judged.
    • Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. 
    • Forgive, and you will be forgiven.
    • Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. 

If Your Husband is Far from the Lord

I love the story of my friend Lynn. 

Her husband was far from the Lord. He was lost in drunkenness and infidelity, even while maintaining his practice as a physician. She was in prayer about her situation, and God was very close to her as she drew near to him.

Though she was hurting, God gave her supernatural peace and direction. 

Though she had Biblical grounds for divorce, God led her to love her husband in a way that she would not have been able to on her own. He spoke to her through  I Peter 3:1-2:

Wives, in the same way, submit yourselves to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 

Lynn told me how she would wake at 4 in the morning when her husband came home after drinking all night. She could smell the perfume of another woman on him, and she quietly made him coffee and sat with him.

This went on for some time, and I am not saying this is what God calls everyone in her situation to do! But through her love and kindness, without a word, God utterly broke though his wandering heart bringing him to his knees in brokenness before her and the Lord. 

The further a husband is from Christ, the less likely he will be able to hear his wife's words about spiritual things.  Had she preached at him and cried out all her laments about the pain he was causing her, she would have pushed him further away from herself and the Lord.  Her respect, grace, and faith impacted him much more than her words ever could have. 

Unbelieving Husbands

If your husband is not a believer, your willing, gentle and loving cooperation with his leadership is God's method of choice to have you love and minister to him. This does not mean you have to condone or participate in sinful behavior. 

When we honor our husband's God-given leadership (like David honored Sauls), we will show up with respect and a joyful spirit. We can only do this when we bind our hearts to the Lord first. We can trust that God is sovereign and will work through our husband for our ultimate good and God's glory. 


If you are in a situation where you are being abused--your emotional or physical integrity is on the line--I encourage you to seek out a safe haven. If you are unsure if your situation would be classified as abusive, here are some questions to help you assess your situation.

If you are dealing with mental illness, addiction, infidelity, or criminal activity in your marriage, you will want to get godly support from a local professional or minister as soon as possible. 

You can contact Focus on the Family at 1-800-A-FAMILY to speak with a licensed counselor and receive a free counseling referral for your area. Or, you may contact the National Domestic Abuse Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE

So how do we get to that place of humility, gentleness,  and forgiveness along with clarity, soundness, and power? I am going to show you how in our last lesson.

4 Lessons

BONUS 5: Biblical Approach for Responding to Your Husband’s Sin

How do we show up when we believe our husband is doing wrong according to God's standards? Do we confront him? Do we sit silent? Do we leave?

Next Lesson
Lessons for this module 4
I want this course and 6 weeks of coaching!

Already have access to this product?    Sign In Here

Personal Information

Payment Options

 One Payment
 $199.00 USD
 Three payments
 $70.00 USD  ( then $70.00 USD for 2 months )

How do you want to pay?

Credit/Debit Card
No payment method needed.
My Products Available Products
Sign In

Sign In Details

Forgot Password