Join my cost-effective coaching program, Clarity+Courage where we learn, apply, and grow. This month's concept: Discernment & Decisions. 

Is it Sin?


So what is sin anyway? (besides being another word that doesn't make me feel so good) 

I cringe a little when I say it because when I talk about other's sinning it makes me feel pious and judgey.  In today's society, it feels outdated and punitive.

Google tells us Sin is "an immoral act considered to be a transgression against divine law." A transgression is "an act that goes against a law, rule, or code of conduct; an offense."

So what determines if an act is sinful is by looking at what divine law says.  As Christians, we enter into a relationship with God by first believing in Jesus. It is a relationship we enter by faith and as we exercise this faith, His Spirit living in us shows us evidence of his divinity. 

Universal Law and Relationship Manuals

Without divine law, there is no sin, and society operates on Universal Law which reflects what conduct is universally acceptable to most people.  With universal law, the majority dictates the law rather than a divine supreme being. 

In addition to Universal Law, we create Personal Law ( or My Truth).  Personal Law /My Truth includes the Relationship Manuals that we talked about in my course The Connection Cure

Remember our Relationship  Manuals are all the unwritten rules of how we think others should behave to make us happy. They include all our preferences, expertise, personal values, and ambitions. And while its okay to have preferences and even make requests from your husband, to impose your will on someone else and make their unmatched-want mean something devastating about him, you or the relationship, only creates a life of pain. 

Me-driven rules are different than God-driven rules.  My husband may transgress me by going against my personal code of conduct,  but to call his behaviors a sin is to ask, does it go against God's code of conduct?

Disputable Matters

Romans 14:1 directs us not to quarrel over disputable Issues. These are issues on which the Bible does not give a clear directive. We’re not talking about lying, stealing, or adultery—on which God’s Word is abundantly clear. We’re talking about matters of conscience in which God has given us freedom.

Christ is the Fulfillment of Divine Law

Romans 10:3-5: …Because they were ignorant of God’s righteousness and sought to establish their own, they did not submit to God’s righteousness. Christ is the end of the Law, in order to bring righteousness to everyone who believes.  For concerning the righteousness that is by the law, Moses writes: “The man who does these things will live by them.”…

Sin exists because of the law and Jesus is the fulfillment of the law. 

Matthew 5:17-18: “Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. For truly I tell you until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished."

In Christ, we stand in the merits of Jesus when we are judged for our sin.  We enter into this through his grace. 

Without Christ's atonement which we can choose to receive or reject, we stand on our own merits when we are judged for our sin.

God's law is good. And Christ is the fulfillment of it.  

The fulfillment of the law is LOVE. And so anything that fails to submit to God and to Love is sin. Man, how many times has that been me?

Those who understand the Gospel (the love and faithfulness of God, the depravity of sin, God's graciousness, and invitation to engage with him) will desire to please the one who created, redeemed, and loved them.  The best way to please him is to study his Word and be led by his spirit, aligning our will with his will.  

In this lesson, we have established that SIN is still a thing.  Jesus did not abolish sin or the law that enabled sin. He just stood in the gap for our sin.

God will expose sin and provide atonement for that sin. In the gap between our sin and his atonement, we enter into engaging with God.  

Isn't that beautiful?  

And so, what is our role when we believe our husband is violating God's mandates and walking in sin? Maybe he is failing to love. Maybe anger is ruling his heart. Maybe he is a slave to pornography or gluttony.  Maybe he lacks the fruit of the spirit in his life because he fails to feed himself spiritually. 

Let's look at what scripture tells us about confronting others. 


4 Lessons

BONUS 5: Biblical Approach for Responding to Your Husband’s Sin

How do we show up when we believe our husband is doing wrong according to God's standards? Do we confront him? Do we sit silent? Do we leave?

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